Just what the doctor ordered. This past weekend at Binghamton was exactly what I needed: seeing old familiar faces, meeting new people, and knowing that no matter how far or long you’re apart, your good friends will still be there as if nothing ever changed. So thank you, to everyone that was there, who took the time out to spend a moment with me.
That being said, the weekend did have it’s ups and its down. Fortunately it was more of the former. As I woke up this morning, I felt myself feeling a lot lighter. The burden of the stress and the worries have been lifted and I’m finally free from that vicious cycle. Clouded thoughts have been cleared and in it’s place, a clear and new perspective. I’m finally able to see and accept things for what they are. Actions speak louder than words. So with that, I give a toast to my former self as I leave him behind. With a new outlook, drive, and motivation, I am moving forward at last.
And you know what? I feel pretty damn good.
I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt as happy as I did during these last few days, like a child on Christmas morning. But now, I am also feeling the most confused I have ever been, with my thoughts the most clouded they have ever been. I feel as if I’ve gone against my most of my morals and beliefs. I want to be able to open up and trust again, but how can I when what I cherish the most is also the source of my pain and my doubts? Déjà vu, this feels like a replay of a very familiar episode. It’s as if I could blink and it could disappear all over again. How do I start trusting again?